nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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