Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
