The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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