I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
