They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
