i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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