the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
