i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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