this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
