dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
