I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
