if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
