I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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