i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
