He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
