Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
