so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
