Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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