I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
