you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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