Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
