it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize