what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
