I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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