I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
