Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize