Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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