so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
