Nicole vs. Life
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize