PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
