thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
