He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
