I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
