so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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