Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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