can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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