a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Congratulations! We have a period
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