I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
