ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
