you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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