he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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