I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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