yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
