She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
