He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
