Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Randomize
