Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
