Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
