Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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