Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
