You made me cry and you don't even care
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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