No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize