why didn't you poke me back
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
