Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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