honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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