I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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