People in love make me want to vomit
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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