Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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