Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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