I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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