Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize