sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
