love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you traded sex for a burrito?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
