you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize