Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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