jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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