is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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