I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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