Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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