i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize