Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am naked and annoyed.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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