On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
