i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
