her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
