Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
