I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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