she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
