Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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