it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
